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Sex And The City: Is It Hard Finding Love For NYC Singles?
By Rebecca Benjamin
Finding love is difficult no matter who you are, what you do, how
you look, or where you live. We all have unique backgrounds,
personality traits, and life circumstances that impact the ease or
difficulty we have when it comes to finding and maintaining
romantic relationships. One thing is for certain: If you are single
and in search of a partner, you will not succeed in this day and age
unless you put forth a great deal of effort. Contrary to popular
belief, love is not impossible to find. If you feel that you are alone
because there are no single men or women left within a particular
age range, or that there is a lack of individuals who measure up to
your standards, you are mistaken. Success comes to those who
work for it. You do not become the President of the US unless you
work hard to get there, and Mr./Ms. Right will not magically show
up at your doorstep unless you don't put in the effort to get
him/her there.
Some believe love is even more difficult to find in an urban area
such as New York City, because it is a place that is occupied with
people who are materialistic and obsessed with consumerism.
Indeed, nearly every aspect of the culture revolves around buying
goods and services. Finding love is no exception. New Yorkers
don't work at making their love last; they try to buy it. Just
consider how commercialized Valentine's Day has become. It
seems that this holiday has become more about declaring your
love with the best Hallmark card and the biggest diamonds than
simply showing the person you love how much you really care.
There is a huge market for self-help books and literature based on
love and relationships. Some promise to offer you a solution to find
a husband fast, while others give advice on being single or focus
on the "rules" that we can all use to attract a partner. These
books promise to get you the love of your life, but ask you to pay a
price for it first. Many online websites are essentially doing the
same thing. It has been said that you can't buy love, but money
does seem to quicken the process. Just look at all the personal ads
in which people, particularly men, write of the money that they cab
bring to the table. Many women are lured in by the riches,
believing that they are more likely to fall in love with a man who
can buy them expensive gifts and treat them to a luxurious
lifestyle. With this consumer mentality, we acknowledge the
importance of money in our love lives. We try to grab love fast and
make it ours to own.
The basic assumption behind such behavior is that that getting
what we desire will make us happy. Money will not make love last.
If people get married without loving each other, there marriages
are more like fifty-fifty partnerships than relationships. Such an
approach towards marriage, often has lacks warmth and mean,
making a marriage look like a business instead of love. It can be
discouraging to believe in the existence of real love when you see
such superficial relationships all around you.
Finding love is a huge challenge in a city of people who subscribe
to a "shopping" mentality. It may be hard to find people who are
focused on companionship and intimacy instead of bank accounts
in such a place. Without a doubt, there are plenty of people out
there interested in getting involved in a relationship without selfish
and manipulative people. They don't all expect money, a sense of
security or a higher status out of your partner. There are plenty of
people looking for an intimate loving relationship. You just have to
work hard to find them.
But, if you want somebody to be with you always and understand
the fact that mere shopping would not, get you there, you are
ready to love somebody without any selfish reasons and are truly
looking for love. Do not sit idle in hope that true love will knock
your door one day and embrace you with full warmth and
happiness. Start realizing your needs, thoughts, work hard for it
and get ready to reap the rewards your hard work.
About the Author
Rebecca Benjamin is a Professional matchmaker and trained Social Worker for the online Jewish dating site JRetroMatch. She is excited to help you find your match! For free sign up:
http://www.JRetroMatch.com
Article Source: http://www.simplysearch4it.com/article/27208.html
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