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Decision Making: A Way of Life
By Theresa Gabriel
You may be familiar with standard decision making steps such as fact-finding, problem-finding, idea-finding, solution-finding and acceptance-finding. They are fine tools, but first I suggest practicing the habit of becoming aware of the decisions that come up every day!
You may face an emergency, a volunteer opportunity, a career move, or something more subtle. Maybe something feels wrong, or you want to help someone but don't know if you should. You might be tempted to buy something or try something new. Little decisions jump out at you every day and once in a while a big decision might really floor you! Be ready. Here are four steps to get you on the right track, no matter how big of a decision you have to make:
1. Step Back and Look Again
You haven't made any decision or any commitments yet, so back away from the situation for a moment - physically if you have to. Consciously refrain from stepping into a situation without first choosing to. Look at it from a distance. Notice what is happening and listen to your thoughts and feelings. Know that you have a decision to make.
If you feel 'funny' about a situation, listen to that feeling. Western writer and real-life mountain-man, Louis L'Amour, in his book "Yonderings," explained he might be riding along a trail and get a strange feeling that something was wrong. He would pause and realize that his eyes had seen something out of place that hadn't caught up with his consciousness yet. He always took these feelings seriously. To ignore them would be to risk his safety or even his life.
Your first step is to realize and acknowledge your chance to evaluate your options and choose your course. You are consciously aware you have a choice to make. Your first decision is to make a good decision, on your own, not influenced by sales-pitches, guilt or poor reasoning.
2. Decide Where you Belong in the Situation
Now is the time to face a few important questions. It helps to start with a list. Some of these will apply to your situation, and some won't. They will help you to approach the decision from your personal perspective and values rather than by outside influences.
* What do I want? Why?
* Where do I belong?
* What is my role?
* Where will I draw the line?
* Are personal boundaries being crossed?
* What is my gut feeling?
* What is God telling me?
* Am I being patient enough to find the right answer?
* Do I need advice?
* What are the consequences of this decision?
* What do I know about this?
* What don't I know about this?
If someone asks me to help with a big project, it might be something that I'd really love to be involved in, but I might need to draw a line with how much time I am taking away from my family. If a family member asks me to become involved in their financial problems, I ask myself what my role in this situation should be. Do I belong here? In what capacity? Is this a boundary that shouldn't be crossed? If I find myself acquainted with a person who I begin to realize may be psychologically ill, maybe from depression, I may realize that I can not fill the role of the problem solver.
3. Make a Decision
Once you decide where you stand in this situation, you can face making any decision that you're required to make. Use decision making skills such as those listed at the beginning of this article.
4. Respond Based Upon your Decision
You have looked at the situation and have evaluated it by asking yourself questions. You've made a decision based upon the information you have at the time. Now is the time to act on that decision. Your decision might not be the right one, but you can be sure that you've done the best that you could. The outcome caused by your decision will help to educate your future decisions.
Illustrated Example Sometimes situations happen where an immediate response is necessary, but if you have that moment to stand back and then to evaluate what's happening, then you're half way there!
A Bad Start: I admire my friend Sue for having a good head on her shoulders, but one winter day when her five-year old crashed on his sled, and she found him crying, shuddering and holding his lower leg, she didn't call 911.
A Good Decision: Sue didn't call 911, but she did the most important step as a mother and as a first aid rescuer: she assessed the situation. She saw that John was protecting his leg and insisting that it not be moved. Sue took that cue and accepted it as important. She decided to call for advice, and forced herself to be patient. She called her brother, an EMT, who advised her to call 911 immediately and not to try to move John. Although she felt unsure, Sue took his advice and called the rescue squad.
A Good Outcome: John's foot had been shattered in the crash. By not moving the leg, Sue saved her son much pain and reduced the healing time for the several breaks.
Toward Tomorrow
Tomorrow a whole new set of decisions will face you. Begin a way of life of making wise choices so you're ready when the whoppers come around!
About the Author
Paths began to beckon Theresa when she was 12, visiting the Bridger Wilderness in Wyoming. Walking, dancing, and movement are a part of her, nourished by John Denver's musical challenge for her to "fly." Join her "walking with women" Life Discovery Tours. Learn more about Theresa Gabriel Women Summit LLC
http://www.womensummit.com - Life Discovery Tours - Women's Retreats
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