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You Cant change him - JBC
By Alan R. Stafford
You Can't Change Him – Stop Trying!
No matter how terrific your spouse may seem, nobody's perfect. This may seem like an obvious statement, but it is one we often need to remind ourselves. When we're first in a relationship, it's easy to put someone on a pedestal. The beginning of a relationship can be so much fun that it's hard to remember that your partner must have flaws.
Forgetting that your partner is imperfect, though, can be dangerous. It makes it hard to keep your expectations on a realistic level.
No matter how well you get along, there are going to be times when you disagree. You'll also experience times when your partner won't understand your side of things. Never assume that your partner can read your mind.
Communication is the key to keeping things realistic and functional. Make sure that you understand each other when you're talking. When you accept that you won't always agree with each other, but you'll respect each other, you're taking a big step.
Remember, people don't change who they are. They may grow and evolve, but their personalities remain the same. By the age of 20, the majority of us have developed our full set of beliefs, values, and personality traits. By believing that you can change someone, your relationship will be doomed from the beginning.
Think about it, you're expecting a dramatic change from your partner that you'd never even consider taking on for yourself. This is simply unfair to your partner.
By doing this, you're essentially getting the relationship off one-sided. If this is the way things are going, it will never work.
Since people don't change, it is your responsibility to yourself and your potential partner to be realistic. Build solid dating skills that will help you to screen prospective partners. You'll need to look for people that you won't feel the urge to change.
If a person is compatible from the start, then the odds are that this person will remain compatible in the future.
Keep in mind that compatible doesn't mean perfect. It just means that the person has characteristics you enjoy, and that you don't feel the need to change.
By keeping this in mind, you'll be much more realistic when you date, and will be much more fair. You'll end up in happier relationships, and your expectations will be more achievable. You'll also find that you're much happier with the people you choose. The stress is much lower when you accept people for who they are and don't have to remodel them.
About the Author
Dr. Stafford is a speaker, writer, class leader, and personal coach on topics important to Singles and Couples. As a relationship coach he helps men and women of all ages find the love of their lives and lives that they love. If you're tired of being alone, or worry you're with the wrong person, call or email Alan for a no cost introductory coaching call to see how personal coaching can benefit you.
Article Source: http://www.simplysearch4it.com/article/20956.html
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