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Seductive Selling Secrets

By John James Santangelo

Have you ever been in an . . . . intimate relationship? Yes, INTIMATE!

Let me ask you this, "HOW do you know?"

I know, stupid question and what's this got to do with sales? Well, nothing really. Unless you're a mover and shaker. Then you understand the psychology of seductive sales. Or should say seductive BUYING! So, were you able to answer the question, "How do you know? "

The answer is, "you FEEL it!" You know because you have a feeling deep inside about what it is that you're so sure about, the same way people BUY! They just KNOW it. They can't tell you what that 'thing' is but if you ask the right questions, eventually you'll get an answer like, "It's just a gut instinct" or " I just KNOW." Or " I had a feeling it was the right decision." These are the real keys to selling folks. This is how people BUY. And if you are of the premise that you're a people person, smart, know you product, and how to close, you are far mistaken – leaving mounds of money on the table as they say. Don't get me wrong here, you MUST know all those things as well, though if that's all you have in your tool belt, you'll never be able to create a buying environment for your clients. Let's take a deeper look inside at some of the main factors in HOW people buy products and services. I promise, if you incorporate some of these simple skills into your tool belt, you'll be able to construct an exciting ambiance for your clients to FEEL good about who they are, decisions they make and their buying strategies.

The speed of todays business is consistantly increasing at a rapid rate. Companies are looking to increase their communication efficiency to maintain an edge over their competition. In the past 30 years a new model of communication and excellence has risen in the field of human behavior, a science that enhances the components between what we think, understand and how we communicate to people. Great sales people know this, because they're flexible and change their presentation style to match the needs of their prospects, which they will influence. When you have the ability to influence anyone, anywhere, at anytime your business and income will soar through the roof.

Effective communication skills are the most important tools we can learn in life. Yet, most have never learned to adequately become an effective communicator. Most will have theories, but no real answers. Many will state years of experience and practice are the only way to master these skills or it's something you're born with. The same goes with selling, if you do not learn to become a good communicator, your selling will not become any better either.

Most sales courses teach you to remember closing scripts and have you believe the words we speak are the primary source of our communication. But based on a 1970's study from the University of Pennsylvania, 93% of our communication is on a non-verbal level. Learning powerful physical and non-verbal skills, allows you to change how others perceive what you are saying and influence anyone at anytime; because it's the response we receive back from the client, not our given intention. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed from a model of change and success – HOW people do what they do to succeed. When you fully and competently understand how your clients buy, are sold to, and how to influence them by understanding that 90% of the unconscious mind, which is responsible for every decision they make, you'll begin to naturally influence others to your point of view which means closing more sales. NLP offers some of the most powerful communication tools available in the sales training marketplace today. Simple, yet effective, tolls of awareness, skill, and perception make this technology a hidden resource of influence. NLP is the cutting edge tools of human development; the most influential communication and personal change technology yet available. It is the fundamentals of 'how' our brain operates. Individuals and organizations across the globe are using Neuro-Linguistic Programming to enhance their personal and professional lives. NLP is a new field providing a wide range of both step-by-step methods in developing your ability to reach highly effective levels of communication and understanding within yourself and with others.

Cute story -
Johnny Carson had the #1 Girl Scout salesgirl on his late night talk show. He asked her the secret to her success. She replied, "I just went to everyone house and asked, can I have a $30,000. donation for the girl scouts?' When they said No, I would ask, "would you at least buy a box of Girl Scout cookies?" She had mastered the Contrast frame at EIGHT years old.

The real keys to master influence are the following skills;

1. Intention of Desire!
Attitude is EVERYTHING!
Positive self-image: the foundation of success in selling

2. Commitment of Purpose!
Commitment to succeed.
Amenhotep III - "You are your own worst obstacle. Get out of your way."

3. Respect their MAP !
Buy first, into their world.
Beliefs, values, attitudes and lifestyles
Defend their beliefs

4. Prepare your MIND!
What are YOUR values?
Continually learn
Perfect practice makes perfect.

5. RELATIONSHIPS are everything!
Law of association

6. Selling is Useless!
Used car dealerships.
Prospecting: identifying who can and will buy
Two types of buyers…

7. People only BUY!
Buying is Unconscious
People buy FEELINGS
Why / How people buy -

8. Building TRUST and Rapport!
What is Rapport?
Communication Model
Mirror and matching

9. Asking the Right Questions!
What's important to you about/in _________?
How do you know when you have _________?
If I can give you ____ will you ______? Feeling comfortable!

10. Closing the Sale!
Future pace the BUY.

Once you have effectively mastered these simple techniques. Your ability to help people buy a product or service will escalate to new heights like you've never imagined.

Have you ever done a great job of solving your prospect's problems only to find they eventually bought from someone else? In the end, you really wasted a lot of valuable time. Or, has a potential customer told you exactly what he needed and you tried to SELL him on something other than what he KNOWS he wants. Forget, for the moment, your ability to overcome objections and your favorite five closing phrases. People are more likely to purchase if you first know how they made buying decisions in the past. Here's a typical scenario;

Carol, I very successful Real Estate agent in Southern California thought she had a SLAM DUNK sale. Her prospect John, realized that as a self-employed professional, he needed home/office space that was larger than what he currently lived in, to do more business out of his home. Carol determined John's average monthly income level, how much house he could afford, and then showed him several homes that fit his financial needs. She got agreement from John that this was something he could afford, then closed the sale. Carol did an effective job of selling, right? Wrong! John procrastinated for a week and then bought from Carol's competitor. Sound familiar? Why? Because Carol didn't determine John's psychological buying strategy.

Do you ever think to ask HOW your prospect decides to buy? As you book an appointment from a telephone conversation, do you find out quickly how they will decide to give you an appointment, OR decide to buy your product?

Once you learn to ask the right questions, you'll tap into exactly HOW they BUY from YOU! Yes, we all have a very specific buying strategy, and once you understand how your clients buy products and services like yours, you'll have their key to unlock the doors to closing more sales. If you don't find out, ahead of time, HOW your prospects will buy or WHAT their decision-making strategy is, you'll never even come close to 100 percent closing rate. But, if you learn to ask the right questions, your prospects will let you know, in advance, how they will buy, from YOU! For more information about learning "HOW TO" communication and influence others to buy exactly what they desire – email us at

About the Author
John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you're looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…" For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email or

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  Some other articles by John James Santangelo
NLP Selling and Communication Secrets!
Have you ever been in an . . . . intimate relationship? Yes, INTIMATE! And, "HOW do you know?" I know, strange question and what does this have to do ...

NLP and Stress Management – How to control your emotional states?
"So then, HOW do you DO stress?" How often during your week do you feel really stressed out? If more ...

NLP - Neuro-Linguistic Programming, A Model For Success!
If you've never heard of it before it might sound like some intellectual psycho-babble? And if you are familiar with its amazing simplicity to make changes at the unconscious level, you know then how important ...

Mirror and Matching; the basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant 'like-ability' or trust. You can literally FEEL, that ...

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