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How to survive the holidays
By Marian Weismiller
How to Survive the Holidays When You Feel Alone
The approaching holidays often bring with them feelings of despair and lonliness especially if you feel you have no one special to share them with. Perhaps you have recently, divorced, broken up with a love interest, or just find that you are by yourself. You might feel you would rather sleep through the holidays and just get them over with.
Well, you are not as alone as you think. Thousands of people feel the same way. They just don't talk about it. Sometimes, when you are feeling depressed, sadden or blue it is hard to believe that someone out there feels the same way. You would rather isolate, and further feel down, than expend the energy to get out and do something.
First, remember, you can survive and will survive. It is how you survive the holidays that is in question.
Second, look around, make a list of others that may be alone too. They do not have to be your relative (it is ok if they are), or your best friend. They may be a business or work associate, neighbor, or church member. What about an old class mate you recently heard about? After all, you are not the only one who went through a break up this year, or a divorce. Who may be in the same situation as you?
Now, thirdly, this may be the hardest step-Reach out by phone, e-mail, or in person and ask them what they have been doing?
You will know immediately, by their response, how social they are. Responses like, "not much", "nothing", or "same old same old",
will tell you that they feel alone, bored or blaah. A simple question like "Do you want to do something, sometime?" may get you a new friend to hang around. Some folks may be very social, and may ask you to join them. Remember, many people think you have plenty to do, and it may never occured to them to ask you to do something. That sounds funny doesn't it? The fact that people do not know you are not busy. How would they know? You might appear friendly, talkative, or busy, and they have no clue how you are really doing. So why not be honest, tell them it has been a hard time for you. You don't have to give them the personal facts. You might allude to feeling bored, kind of lonely etc. Most people, including you, really do care about people. Most of us want to reach out, to include you or help you. Perhaps they have always wanted to get to know you better, but they didn't quite know how to do that. This may give them an invitation to get that opportunity.
Fourth, look at what is out in your community that may bring about a social contact. There are numerous opportunities to volunteer and there are many cool people doing just that. Therapeutic Horsemanship, Habitant for Humanity, church functions, food banks, Humane Society are just a few organizations always looking for extra help. Look in your local newspapers for volunteeres needed. So volunteer a few hours. If you hate it, don't go back. Who knows, it could be an opportunity to meet some one and give you a sense of selflessness.
And fifth, what about your relatives and friends. Tell them you feel awkward, alone or a third wheel. People love helping and they would probably respond with something like this, "I've been there, I understand, and We don't want you to feel this way". Many times they can offer good ideas, or suggestions. When they are aware of your feelings, they become aware of the situation and may try to intervene, by talking to you more, or inviting other single people too.
Finally, pray about it. I know many of you who are already discouraged and down, may think pray is hopeless too. The serenity prayer of: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, offer courage and hope. Reflect on these words and perhaps you will feel more strong to change your situation.
After reading this article, you may say to yourself, "I know all of this, already". Well good. Now that you know it, it is up to you to do something. Anything you do is better than nothing. The easiest thing to do when your down is to do nothing. I am asking you to exert a little energy to try and change your situation a little. Who knows, you might survive the holidays better than you thought.
Article written by Marian Weismiller, psychotherapist & owner of yourchristiangifts.com
About the Author
Marian Weismiller has been a licensed counselor in Missouri since 1987. She specializes in individual , marital counseling. She has recently developed an internet site that she sell Christian and inspirational items. Please visit her site: Your Christian Gifts @ yourchristiangifts.com
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