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Positive Thinking - How To Learn From Exploring Your Past
By Roy Thomsitt
The person you are now depends on past events. Those events in your life have moulded your personality and values. You can always establish a connection between a present thought or feeling and a past event or events, even if such an event were many years ago, and in a place far from where you are now. Explanations for your present feelings and reactions to current events, can be found by going through some memories. The practice outlined below will show you how to do just that. By trying this you will be able to reinterpret yourself, and learn not to judge your actions but to accept and understand them much better.
Learning From Your Memories Exercise
1. Start by making yourself relaxed and comfortable, either in a chair or armchair.
2. Place a piece of paper or notebook, together with a pen, beside you so you are ready to make notes.
3. Relax your body and your mind, and breath rhythmically through your nose.
4. When you have reached a state of increased self-awareness, you are ready to go back in time, and think of an unpleasant memory that has left a mark on your life. What you recall does not have to be dramatic. In childhood, even the most insignificant remark may have a major impact on your personality later. For example, as a child you may have wandered of from the garden, and brought back home in a police car. Your father might have shouted: “Don't you ever step outside this house again." Of course, he said that in anger, but an anger fed by the love he has for you and the need to protect you from harm. You may have been deeply affected by his outburst, and for a long term, afraid of even going in the garden.
5. When you have selected your past event, briefly write it down, making it clear what happened and the impact it had on you. Finish with a phrase that summarizes your experience.
6. Relax, and be sure that your breathing is still rhythmical, and then think about at least three things that you can learn from that past experience. Do not get stuck on the final phrase, but try to analyze your actions in a way that is non-judgmental. The main purpose is to identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved. Do not be tempted to quickly dismiss your past problem by saying that it was just immaturity. The objective here is to find out how any mistake can teach you to become better, instead of lowering your self-esteem and confidence.
7. When you have found a few positive points about the past experience, write them down. There is no need to force your mind to come up with the ideas; rather, try to let everything flow naturally.
8. After you have finished writing everything down, make sure to read your statements a couple of times, and remember them at a basic level. Set the paper aside and get back to concentrating on your breathing again. Take a minute or two to focus simply on your breathing, and then recall the positive ideas you jotted down on the piece of paper. Repeat those thoughts in your mind, one at a time, and make sure each one truly relates to you. Believing in them, and repeating them in essence, enables you to make them part of who you are.
This exercise is especially useful if you believe you are about to go through a similar experience. If you feel at all stressed and fearful about that situation, make sure you recall the positive aspects from your exercise. Repeat them in your mind before the event, and your self-confidence will receive a much needed but deserved boost, allowing you to proceed free from any negative roots to the past.
You can do this exercise many times, each time selecting a different past event. You should benefit from the process each time. About the Author Roy Thomsitt is the owner and part author of http://www.routes-to-self-improvement.com
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