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Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?




By Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.

Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?" On and on.

Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.
 
 
About the Author
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627

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  Some other articles by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do It
Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns. Yes, infidelity is complex. You probably know that or perhaps feel the overwhelm and confusion. ...

Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience ...

The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer
"I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of 6 kinds of affairs I outline in my E-book. This is the ...

Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing
Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis (such as infidelity), that demands significant change if the relationship is to survive. So...there are promises ...

Cheating Husband or Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy
When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them. ...

  
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