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Planning for The Unplanned: Myths and Mysteries of Closely Spaced Siblings
By Anne Arthur
Parents of closely spaced children often find themselves dealing with the unplanned. No time is this more apparent when parents discover they are unexpectedly pregnant with one or more young babies already in the home.
Many parents of closely spaced children conceive unexpectedly. Here are some of the common myths and mysteries related to closely spaced children that help explain why having children close in age sometimes requires planning for the unplanned.
Myth #1 - You Can't Get Pregnant While Breastfeeding
This is False! Anyone can get pregnant while breastfeeding. For those that breastfeed around the clock, their chances of conceiving are generally less than a parent who is bottle-feeding or combining breastfeeding with bottle-feeding.
That said, the less time your baby spends at the breast, the more likely you are to conceive. If you plan to use breastfeeding as a form of contraception, be advised that there are strict guidelines for doing so. Even under the best of circumstances breastfeeding is not foolproof, and much less effective after babies start eating solids (which can be anywhere from 4-6 months for most babies.).
Many parents of closely spaced children find themselves unexpectedly dealing with unplanned pregnancies because they conceived while breastfeeding. If you truly don't want to conceive, you might consider an added form of contraception. If you did get pregnant this way, congratulations! You are one of many!
Myth #2 - The Mini Pill Always Prevents Pregnancy
This is also false. The mini pill is a lower dose hormone pill often prescribed breastfeeding mothers to reduce their fertility. Because it doesn't interfere with milk production it is considered safe to use while breastfeeding. While usually very effective, there are many factors that can influence its efficacy.
If for example, you fail to take this pill at the exact same time every day, or suffer a bout of stomach flu, or take a course of antibiotics even, you may find yourself unexpectedly pregnant!
The mini pill is much less reliable if you use it as a sole form of contraception. Your best bet is back up protection if you plan on truly preventing a pregnancy.
Myth #3 An IUD Will Always Prevent Pregnancy
This again is false. In most cases an IUD is an exceptional form of contraception. It may last up to five years. There are still however tales of women whose contraception failed and they became pregnant while using an IUD. This may result from multiple factors including improper placement. Some women's bodies simply reject the IUD. Whatever the case there are women who have become pregnant using an IUD. While rare, anything is possible.
Tips For Surviving Closely Spaced Pregnancies
The reality is that no form of contraception is foolproof. Most women however will experience good results when using contraception correctly. That said many have also gotten pregnant even with 'perfect' use.
So what do you do if you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant and expecting two children under two or three under three? Don't panic! Most mother's natural instinct when they learn they will have closely spaced children is to panic. Fortunately there are thousands of other mothers who have gone through the same thing.
You should know as a parent of closely spaced kids or soon to be parent, that the baby years are often the toughest. During the first 3 years of life most children need a lot of one on one attention and babying. That said, this period of time while challenging is also one of the most rewarding.
Parenting closely spaced children is a time in life when you should forget about planning everything. Toss your schedule out the window because nine times out of ten you'll find your schedule interrupted by one unexpected event or another. The best way to cope? Simply laugh as much as you can. The good news is most parents with closely spaced children find they eventually adapt and adopt a routine, and that their children are better friends and siblings because of their close ages.
If you find yourself unexpectedly expecting again, look to friends and family members for support. Chances are you'll find a strong shoulder to lean on, cry on and laugh on when the time comes. Parenting closely spaced children is rewarding. Whether your pregnancy is planned or unexpected, revel in the mystery and miracle that created life.
About the Author
Anne Arthur is a freelance writer living in Denver, CO. Her new guide, "Double Duty: The One and Only Guide For Parents of Closely Spaced Children" is currently available at Booklocker.com by linking to http://www.booklocker.com/books/2323.html
Check out her site for more information and support for raising closely spaced children at http://www.closelyspacedkids.com
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