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Opposites Attract: Yes, But Do We Want Them To?
By Kenneth L. Meyer
It would take more guts than I may have to argue with anyone who makes the statement that opposites attract in relationships! There is so much psychologically researched data to support the claim for opposites attracting.
The problem is that humans seem to be "suckers" for this reality. I mean we set ourselves up for the opposite attraction; to be sure we want it, we seem to desire it. Then when it takes; we do almost everything in our power to disrupt what we just created!!
"Wait a minute, wait just one minute" you may be thinking. How in the world can we pursue an opposite attraction and then destroy automatically what we just pursued?!
My friend, we do it all the time. Here is what I mean.
Just about everything in our human psychology screams out for the opposite attraction. If we are more outgoing in nature (extraverted) we find the more withdrawn, reserved (introverted) person mysteriously attractive. If we are more in-the moment, detailed and somewhat practical (sensing) we find the more big-picture oriented, future thinking person (intuit) very appealing. If we seem to understand how to logic our way through just about any decision making situation (thinking) we find ourselves drawn to the more emotional, empathetic, harmonious person (feeling); and the reverse is true most assuredly also!! We just can't seem to help ourselves and I am not suggestion that we should put the brakes on when this opposite attraction begins.
I am suggesting that knowledge of personality type ala the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator can give us the information we will need to handle the wonder of being in the throws of an opposite attraction.
Because, after the attraction has taken and we shall we say marry or commit firmly to the other, we as humans then spend an unbelievably large amount of energy, time, and resources changing the opposite into an image of ourselves!!
Yes, we work, in most cases, harder changing the opposite we just loved to be attracted to into something we understand…ourselves….the way we do things.
This phenomenon has been termed the "Pygmalion Affect" and I acknowledge David Keirsey of Please Understand Me fame here most gratefully. In essence we don't understand the natural, instinctive differences that actually attracted us to our mate in the first place so after living with them 24/7 365 as they say, we try to change our mate into an image of ourselves! Of course this does not work; and may be the chief cause of divorce in our culture.
So one huge solution then is to understand your Myers-Briggs personality type and the type of your mate and let the differences stand on their own. Don't judge the differences as being too harsh or wrong to live with, because with knowledge and understanding of what one was once ignorant of, unbelievable power and truth and understanding can be yours. This new understanding of natural personality type differences can give you the wisdom needed to not only live with your "type different" mate; but, indeed thrive with them. Eventually you can see that they are in all likelihood bringing a superb strength to an area of personal weakness that exists in you. And, you are doing the same for them!! What a natural mating, loving, positive relationship reality this could be.
You need to know your Myers-Briggs type however to make this transaction work. Go to www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com for a deeper understanding of personality type and take the Myers-Briggs.
Then enjoy the natural God-given differences that may exist between you and your mate, or significant other, or maybe even between you and your children…there is a big one!
Remember the knowledge of Myers-Briggs personality type is as solid as a rock!
About the Author
Kenneth L. Meyer, MIS, MBTI
Ken is a charter-certified (C118608) Myers-Briggs Type Indicator practitioner and President of Solid Rock Consulting Group, LLC. Career Counselor.
Article Source: http://www.simplysearch4it.com/article/45596.html
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