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Made In Heaven, Finished In Hell - Part 2
By Sandro Azzopardi
...continued from Part 1
Curiosity doesn't always kill the cat
As Isaac Asimov wrote in his New Guide to Science, 'almost in the beginning was curiosity'. Now, relationships are as far removed from science as a Van der Graaf generator is from a blender, but the same rule applies.
Being inquisitive is a relationship's carrot on a stick. Showing zeal and believing that the other can still intrigue you with new things is essential for a relationship's growth. You need to yearn for your partner, ask questions, call or message when apart and show interest when together.
Curiosity should not be mistaken for nosiness, and if your partner calls you every two seconds to ask for the exact latitude and longitude of your position, then probably you are going out with a stalker. So do not poke your nose into delicate affairs such as who has he phoned lately, otherwise, curiosity may kill the cat.
Do things together
The most successful couples are those who, even if they have a busy schedule and their diary is choc-a-block with appointments, make spending time together a priority.
Share your hopes, fears and dreams with your partner and keep in touch with what is happening in your lives. Make sure that every second with your partner counts because being together is about quality time rather than rotting in front of the telly without saying a word. Of course, making time entails sacrificing other activities, but quality time is an investment in your future happiness.
Spending time with each other, exploring new things and doing favours for your partner are important. A successful relationship is a tennis-like exchange of favours; a back and forth of reciprocity because it is just nice to do things for your partner.
Does it need fixing?
YOU KNOW YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS IF:
• Both of you accept change as an inevitable part of life and adapt to it together
• You do not look at other people's relationships for solutions
• You are both committed to each other
• There is a mild and healthy level of jealousy which protects your relationship
• You look after your partner and give each other confidence.
YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOUR PARTNER IF:
• You are no longer able to communicate your feelings
• You are willing to let your relationship suffer in order to dedicate more time to work, business or friends
• Your relationship has become a conflict cycle and arguing leaves you hurt and wondering if you want to stay
• You are being emotionally or psychologically bullied
• There is violence or threats of violence and your partner is aggressive - remember that there is life after an abusive relationship.
Be your own PR agent
Good communication is the only way you can openly and honestly tell your partner who you are, what you want and how you feel. When we talk and listen, we are giving each other the entry pass for our private thoughts and emotions. Make sure you sit down and have a nice talk not only when trouble looms ahead but also as part of your relationship maintenance routine.
It is also important to accept that we all have our differences and that arguments are a normal part of every relationship. However, stick to productive rather than destructive arguing - a good argument is an opportunity to share feelings, strengthen your bond and compromise while admitting that your partner may have different opinions than yours.
Effective communication is also when we are polite and show respect to each other. Being in a relationship with someone does not mean that you or they should throw 'please' and 'thank you' out of the window.
About the Author
Sandro Azzopardi is a professional author who writes several articles on various subjects on his web site and local newspapers and magazines. You can visit information about this article and others on: http://www.theinfopit.com/society/relationship/madeinheavenfinishedinhell-2.php
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