Presents Vs. Time

It's hard enough for most parents to arrange good, quality family-time, under normal circumstances. But in December, with holiday preparations dominating so much free time, and talk of Santa's arrival dominating so much conversation, parents are lucky to keep up with their children's lives.

One complaint that parents have had since Santa became a part of Christmas is the cost of the season. And today, with Christmas advertising aimed at children beginning before November, parents must deal with the onslaught of their kids' begging, sooner and longer. One result of all of this pressure is that parents today often find themselves in the position of buying their children's Christmas gifts early and often-sometimes way too often. It's a common refrain, heard from parents today:

"Are we spoiling our kids, by buying them too much?"

There are many reasons that parents today wind up buying so much for their children. Often, it can be as simple as wanting to give their kids the best Christmas possible. But many parents today feel the pressure of their own peers-other parents-when shopping for their children, knowing that their kids will brag about their loot to all their friends. Other parents respond to the pressure from their children. They don't want to forget that one gift, whose absence could spoil a perfect morning.

Many experts, though, feel that parents today put too much pressure on themselves to make sure Santa does his job right. Most parents today operate in a completely different environment than they were raised. With two-career households being the norm, many children spending time in daycare, and the old-fashioned family dinner-hour increasingly rare, a lot of parents feel a lack of closeness with their kids, which they compensate for at Christmas, by piling as many gifts as will fit under the tree.

Then, by January, they see that a select few toys or dolls have earned a favored spot in their childrens' lives, while the rest collect dust, leaving bewildered parents wondering why they ever spent so much.

If, last Christmas morning, you saw your kids' interest waning, before all the presents were opened, chances are, you went a little overboard. Sure, they may have begged for that new, improved whiz-bang, after a TV commercial told them they had to have it, but by the time they got to opening it, their senses had been overloaded by all the other spectacular gifts.

This year, after you've bought the things you know they really want, instead of making that one extra trip to the toy store for this year's whiz-bang, spend that time with your kids, playing outside, reading a book, or watching a Christmas video. Time with you is what your kids really want-and not just for Christmas, but every day. There's plenty of time to get a whiz-bang after the holiday, if they really miss it. But a whiz-bang will wear out and be forgotten, eventually.

Time with you is something your kids will remember forever. And time is something you can't give them too much of. One question you never hear parents ask:

"Are we spoiling our kids, by spending too much time with them?"

Go ahead-spoil away. They'll thank you for it.