Good Deeds & The Santa Factor

Looking back, it may seem a little like cheating, but my friend Annie found a way, several years ago, to instill in her young kids the habit of performing random acts of kindness. She didn't call them that at the time-this was before the phrase became popular-she called these acts "good deeds". And here's the kicker: her kids, young as they were, were tickled to learn the habit, becoming anxious and even competitive in finding ways to help others. And the habit has stuck with them, as they've grown into teenagers. They're two of the most compassionate, caring, helpful kids you'e ever imagine meeting.

How did Annie do it? By teaching them The Golden Rule? By finding a magic empathy elixir? By forcing them to watch endless reruns of Touched By An Angel? Nope-she accomplished this amazing feat through the clever and devious use of a terrifying threat guaranteed to chill the heart of any young child-if they didn't do it, Santa would be upset. Of course, it helped that she intitiated them into kindness, right after Thanksgiving, when they started seriously contemplating the possibilities of a magical Christmas morning.

Annie was worried, at the time, that she was the kind of fairly new parent who could wind up spoiling these children she loved so much. So, one early December day, when her kids were demanding that Santa be given long lists of desired toys, she warned them that the Jolly Old Elf expected them to earn their wonderful Christmas morning, a stunning prospect they had never considered.

Desperate to please Santa, Annie's kids begged her to tell them what they could do to appease him. "Three good deeds a day," she blurted, without thinking. Instantly realizing, from their silence, that she was on to something, she continued, inventing on the fly: "Three good deeds a day, besides your normal chores, for other people, without being asked. Then, maybe Santa will be pleased, and put you on his list."

Though Annie's kids were only four and six at the time, the good deeds started piling up. There was help with the garbage, help with dinner, help with the dishes. Her son even tried his best to shovel the neighbor's sidewalk, one snowy morning. At first, Annie kept a record of the good deeds, on a chart in the kitchen, and, ultimately, Christmas morning was merry for all.

Of course, there was a post-Christmas lull in the new order-after all, it was a whole year until Santa would be back, and he was probably on vacation for a while. But, eventually, with a little gentle reminding, Annie got her kids back on the three-a-day track.

And it really did become a habit. Annie was always prompt to praise her kids' acts of kindness, and soon others outside the family circle began to compliment them, as well. Kids really do love to please their friends and family, especially when their efforts are acknowledged. And, years later, when Santa was no longer a factor, the habit was set, and since then, Annie's children have always gone out of their way to help others. Now, it's just a fact of their lives that brings them inner joy. If you're looking for a way to ingrain the same kind of behavior in your young ones, try St. Nick. Sometimes, especially in December, his opinion can work miracles.