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Sideline Dad
By J Gardener
You scored great seats for this game-right on the fifty. Now, it's
nail-biting time. Your team's down by six, but they're on the fifteen, inside
the red zone-it's third-and-five, with thirty seconds left. It's now or never,
as your quarterback keeps the ball, slips around the end, dodges one tackler,
bowls over another, lunges for the pylon-he's in! Your cheer lifts you out of
your seat, you spill popcorn everywhere.
Then you see it-the yellow flag. Offensive holding-no touchdown. The clock
runs out. But wait a minute-a fellow fan storms the field, going right for the
ref. A scuffle takes place, then another fan goes for your team's
coach-screaming something about boneheaded play-calling. It starts to get ugly,
when Security rushes in to break things up. Thank goodness this field has
Security. It has to-this is Pop Warner Football, after all. No telling, what
these crazy fathers are capable of.
The "football" or "baseball" or "sideline" father is the male equivalent of
the infamous stage-mother. He prowls the sidelines at his son's games, screaming
advice at the coach, curses at the ref, and criticism at his own son.
Believe it or not, there are highly qualified and motivated would-be coaches
who won't go near Pop Warner Football or Little League Baseball or the local
soccer league, any more. At best, for coaches and referees, the presence of
fathers on the sidelines can be distracting and annoying-at worst, it really can
be dangerous. Angry fathers have assaulted and injured coaches, everywhere. The
only losers, when good coaches can't be recruited, are the players-the kids-who
will never benefit from the patience and expertise these men can bring to the
game.
The old adage, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the
game", seems to have vanished from our collective consciousness, today. The
pressure to win, at all costs, is pervasive in our culture. Today's most popular
TV shows-the "reality" shows-joyfully encourage ruthless behavior in pursuit of
victory.
Adults have the experience to make their own judgements about such behavior,
but young children are still going through the development of their
interpersonal relationship skills, and team sports can provide valuable
lessons:
How to work together, toward a common goal;
How to accept and process the discipline required to succeed;
How to blend individual talents and abilities into a successful group
effort;
How to learn from defeat, and work together to improve future
performance.
Most of all, team sports for kids ought to be about having fun. It's
difficult for a boy to have a good time on the field when his dad is screaming
criticism from the sidelines, either at him or the coach.
All dads want the best for their kids. Even sideline dads are motivated by
the desire to see their kids do well and enjoy the feeling that comes with
winning. But no one wins every time, and that's a valuable lesson, too-that
disappointment is survivable.
The best feeling kids can have, though, isn't necessarily reflected by the
scoreboard at the end of the game. The best feeling is the pure fun kids have
had for generations, just chasing a ball and each other, in the dirt and grass,
not caring about the score-or who's declared victorious. Plenty of time for
that, when they grow up. About the Author Brought to you by Imaginary Greetings, focused on how families get by in this wonderful world of ours. To help create the perfect family holiday scene in your home and for the best selection of GKI/ Bethlehem Lighting visit http://www.holidaylighting.com.
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