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Engagement Tips for the Smart Bride and Groom
By Jim Sniechowski
Your engagement is a time of great excitement, and all to often the
burden and frustration of stress. Yet if you follow these helpful Do's
and Don'ts you'll enjoy sharing romance and joy as well as the
wedding planning itself.
Do's
1) Talk about getting married before you ¡°pop¡± the question. Don't
leave that decision to total surprise. After all, it's about the rest of your
lives.
2) Shop for the ring together, either selecting it or designing it together
¡ª or at minimum make sure your man knows what you like.
3) Consider paying for the ring together -- that will help you avoid
getting lost in the fantasy of Prince Charming and Princess for a Day.
4) Think about a simple engagement ring for the groom. Why should it
be only the bride who wears a sign of her commitment. And the good
news is that more and more men are wanting to display their status as
¡°taken.¡±
5) Make your proposal a private, heartfelt event. Don't do splash and
cash. This is an important decision and an important moment. Place it
in the intimacy of the love that lives just between the two of you.
6) Discuss what would make your proposal moment most romantic ¡ª
a weekend away, a private dinner out, snuggled in front of a fire or at
the beach . . . After all, it's a life-changing moment for the both of you.
7) Wait a few days or even weeks to announce your engagement. Let
your decision live within and between you before you tell everyone.
Otherwise the real specialness of what you've done can get lost amid
the clamor of congratulations and the rush of those who will want to
tell you how you should do your wedding.
8) Plan how you'd like to announce your engagement to your parents,
siblings, and friends so that you can best enjoy their support and
celebration.
Don'ts
1) Don't make getting engaged the goal. There is so much more that
follows after that.
2) Never assume that because he's your ¡°type¡± or you have great
¡°chemistry¡± that that means you are meant to marry.
3) Don't allow yourself to be given an engagement ring that you do not
like. Let your taste be known.
4) Don't get engaged because other people are pressuring you to get
married.
5) Don't get engaged without knowing what you both want for your
future. (See ¡°Popping the Questions¡± Chapter two in our book The
Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams.)
6) Avoid an elaborate, overly-expensive public display for the
proposal ¡ª it robs your special moment of tenderness and emotional
intimacy.
7) Don't hesitate to propose to your man, either on your own or after
he asks you. Getting engaged is an equal opportunity opportunity.
8) Never get stuck in a bad relationship just because you agreed to a
proposal. You can break it off, give the ring back, and free yourself to
continue seeking the right relationship.
Remember that your Engagement will bring you most joy when you
honor its meaning. That you are engaged implies not just that you've
agreed to marry. It requires, at its deepest meaning, that
the two of you participate in your wedding proceedings from an
emotional base of mutuality, partnership, and committed union. So Be
Engaged!
About the Author
If you are ready for a wedding guide that honors both of you, and gives you permission to design your wedding on your own terms, then Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski invite you to download two fr..eee chapters of their new book The Smart Couple's
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