By Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD
At one time or another we have all let fear get in our way of asking for what we want. It might have been the fear of looking foolish, the fear of rejection, or simply the fear of being told no. The challenge is that, without asking, the chances of getting what you want are nil. We all know the phrase, "Ask and you shall receive." I would add to that don't ask and you won't receive. You really don't have anything to lose by asking. Since you don't have it, if you don't get it, you are not out anything.
Throughout my years of coaching I have heard so many stories from my clients of the success of asking. I had clients ask for larger consulting fees, a raise, a date, you name it and almost all of my clients were successful in getting what they asked for. One client stands out in my mind. This client worked for a large accounting firm and was renegotiating her compensation. When she told me how much she was going to ask for I suggested she double it. As I explained to her you can always go down but it is difficult to go up. She was shocked that I would suggest that she ask for so much and said she couldn't do it. But, when she was in the negotiations, she decided just to throw it out there and ask for the amount I suggested. She got exactly what she asked for without any hesitation. She later found out that she had asked for the top of the range they were willing to offer, but would have happily given her less had she asked for it.
I myself have experienced asking for what seemed to be outrageous and received it. I once telephoned another coach that I had never met and didn't know me and asked if I could borrow his car. I wanted to have my picture taken sitting on the hood because his license plate read "Icoachu." Without hesitation he said yes. You will find that people are willing and happy to help if only they are asked.
Now asking won't guarantee that you will receive what you request. Don't let that stop you. Since you don't already have what you want you have nothing to lose. If the person says no, you are no worse off than you were before. At least by asking you have increased your chances and you will never have to wonder if you could have had it if you had only asked.
There are many ways that we keep ourselves from not getting what we want. One of the key ways is by not asking. Asking is a risk but it is a risk worth taking. You simply have nothing to lose. If you don't get what you ask for nothing happens and at least you know where you stand. If the answer is no just move on to the next opportunity.
About the Author
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD, is the publisher of the award winning e-zine, 365 Days of Coaching. Her first book, 365 Days of Coaching – Because Life Happens Every Day (Universal Publisher, 2004) was named a finalist for Best Book 2004 by Publish.com and has a five star rating on Amazon.com. Visit Coach Lee at her websites coachlee.com and 365daysofcoaching.com. True Direction, Inc. Copyright
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