Are You Programmed For Success...Or Failure?
By Larry Bilotta
Have you ever wondered why some people just have it all? They're well liked by
everyone they meet, financially set and attractive…but what stands out most is
their beaming sense of self-confidence when they enter a room. It's almost as if
they have a certain "presence" that gives off positive vibes.
Not everyone is this
fortunate, however. There are people who are faced with low self worth, they
struggle to maintain positive relationships and
often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.
So what's the
difference? How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person
constantly struggles just to get by?
The answer lies in
what I call your "Invisible Lifestyle."
Your Invisible
Lifestyle is what made you into the person you are today. You were literally
"programmed" with the habits and beliefs that you follow today (or refuse to
follow).
So who were the
programmers?
Look no further than
your very own parents or guardians.
It's true. Your
parents unknowingly "programmed" you to become the person you are today. The
reason I say 'unknowingly' is because your parents raised you the best they
could based on how their parents
raised THEM.
Because
of the "brain wiring" of your original programmers (your parents), as an adult,
you are duplicating the way they lived when you were young.
For example, let's
say you were raised in a household where both of your parents were always there
for you. They took an interest and encouraged you in everything you pursued.
You grew up seeing
your parents work hard every day, take interest in you and treat each other with
respect. As a result, you grew up to have a successful career and a happy
marriage because you worked hard and treated your spouse with respect…just like your parents.
Now let's look at
another scenario…
Imagine a life where
you grew up in a neglectful household. Your parents never encouraged you or took
an interest in anything you did…EVER.
Your father had a
negative outlook on life because of HIS traumatic childhood so all he knew how
to do was raise YOU the same way that his father raised HIM.
As a result, you
grew up with a negative outlook on life (just like your dad), and you have low
self esteem because nobody took the time to encourage you and take an interest
in you as a child.
Is this YOUR
fault? NO! Of course not!
You did not ask to
be "dropped" into your parents' household. That is the "hand" you were dealt in
life and now, as an adult, you're living out the consequences.
In these two
scenarios, you're living out what I call "Invisible Lifestyle A".
A stands for
"ALWAYS"
"What you didn't
notice your parents doing as a child, you are faithfully reproducing today, and
you don't have a clue you're doing it."
But there IS one exception to this
phenomenon…
Let's say you grew
up in a bad neighborhood with an alcoholic father. Everywhere you looked, you
saw poverty, crime and hopelessness. As a child, you couldn't wait to move out
of the house. You saw your parents' lifestyle and were DETERMINED to not only be
successful, but be NOTHING LIKE YOUR PARENTS.
While you were
growing up, you took the necessary steps to put yourself through school and as
an adult; you have a positive self image and do everything within your power to
remain financially stable.
This is known as
Invisible Lifestyle B.
B stands for
"BUCKING"
"What you couldn't
stand your parents doing when you grew up; you
won't stand for in your relationships today."
Those
who embrace the "B" Lifestyle, do so in defiance of their family's values. The B Lifestyle can create the "black
sheep of the family" and that goes for highly troubled families or very
successful ones.
Invisible
Lifestyle B has taken place when an inner city boy or girl goes on to pursue a
successful career as a lawyer while each of their siblings end up in jail. On
the other hand, a child from a wealthy family could go against his parents'
values by recklessly spending and eventually filing for bankruptcy as an
adult.
Now I'm not telling
you to place BLAME on your parents. Your parents raised you based on everything
they knew at the time. It's ALL they knew. It's not their fault…it's NOBODY'S
"FAULT".
The key is to
understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your
parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally
"wired" into your brain.
And if you have
enough discontent with these, it is very possible to change that programming in
your adult life.
But simply
knowing this is not enough.
You must find these
programs and learn how to "decommission" them. In other words, you need to know
what to do and how to do it, especially if these programs seem to dictate your
behavior.
Do you do things
over and over that other people might call "self sabotage?
Are you attracted to
a certain type of person you know you shouldn't be around, yet you can't help
but feel attracted to?
The source of this
behavior is one or two negative programs from your childhood. These programs will
prevent you (or your loved ones) from a better life.
If your parents' programmed you
with some negative values that are causing you problems in your life today…it's
NOT your fault…but it IS your responsibility to do something about
it.
You can start by thinking about
how each situation in your life today is directly affected by your Invisible
Lifestyle.
The more you discuss your
childhood memories of the way things were, the more you become consciously aware
of them and the easier they will be to "decommission".
Over
an entire lifetime, most people will not make the connection between their
behavior as an adult and how their parents lived during their childhood.
They
will accept their parent's values without questioning anything, never knowing
the REAL reason they continue to make the same mistakes over and over
again.
But
now YOU know better than that. Don't live your life with a blindfold on.
Create a better future by first identifying and then eliminating the values from
your parents that are causing you trouble today.
For more tips on improving your self esteem, building motivation and much, much more go to our self esteem secrets website. About the Author To discover how to "decommission" your undesirable programs, get your FREE copy of Larry Bilotta's Special Report here: Your Invisible Lifestyle For additional resources, go to our self help positive ways website.
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