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  Category: Articles » Writing & Speaking » Article
 

Ignore the English language at your peril!




By Dave Tishendorf

A plague has spread across the Internet.

It's not a virus, although it certainly is harmful.

It isn't the con artists and thieves who take your money and run, although it is costing a lot of people a lot of money.

And it isn't the broken dreams of the thousands of decent, hardworking folks who have tried and failed to make a living online, although it surely has played a part in dashing their hopes.

It is the wanton abuse of the English language.

Whatever the reason – laziness, ignorance, neglect, a disregard, sloppiness, an uncaring attitude or a simple lack of understanding – far too many network marketers have turned their emails, ebooks, sales pages, ezine and safelist ads, articles and web pages into repositories of grammatical and narrative trash.

Navigating this linguistic garbage can be a nightmare. I collected the following examples of bad writing in about 10 minutes of surfing online. Although they are not nearly the worst examples I have seen, they give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

Please note that the comments in parentheses are mine. The first example was found on a website promoting a downline builder.

"(Brand X) is the combination of the strongest internet support team, the best web hosting in the world, specialized marketing tools and a design and management team that goes way beyond the ordinary to being you excellence in every way! When you add our three way pay, you'll be totally blown away! We have the most dedicated, progressive, promotional and "put money in our member's (What, they have only ONE member?) pockets fast" program almost ever conceived!" (Huh?)

The same website a few paragraphs later: (I commend them for at least having someone look over their copy. The problem was that they forgot to remove the editor's comments!)

"With the (Brand X) team, you can't lose! Our ten years of compounded internet successes have shown us repeatedly exactly what folks are looking for and how to give it to them. We live in the day and age where your customers have to know that you, as a company, have and will continue to go beyond the scope of the usual and ordinary in order to exceed customers' expectations. That is what the market is looking for. I am not sure of the preceeding sentence. It said originally, What is the market is looking for? Were you trying to say, What is the market looking for? or That is what the market is looking for or what?"

Or what indeed. Who would want to do business with people who are that sloppy in their presentation?

And would you buy a weight-loss plan from this guy?

"For the past 8 months, I have been glued to my desk; running threw each detail of this system with a fine toothcomb, perfecting it." (Too bad he didn't run through his copy, perfecting it.)

He continues:

"For as long as I can remember, my marketing team has been relentlessly putting pressure on me to release this information to the public because they feel that it is a diamond in the ruff and they know it will work for everyone."

Yes, it's ruff, er, rough trying to make a living online.

Then there was this banner:

GALORE OF OPPURNITIES!
ENJOY YOUR FINANCIAL FREDOM!

And this, from an MLM business:

"We'll show you exactly how this can happen for YOU following the (Brand X) method of synchronized profitability."

Synchronized profitability? What in the world does that mean?

The use of such buzzwords as "synchronized profitability" is meant, I suppose, to impress prospective customers. I'm not impressed.

And so it goes. Sometimes the goofs almost seem to be the brainchildren of comedy writers. I cannot tell you, for example, how many times I have seen variations of, "Please bare with us as we move to the new server." Sounds like an invitation one might get at a nudist camp.

Then there was the writer who, after exhorting his readers to avoid online MLM programs at all costs, opined:

"There are better ways to waste your time."

Yes, I suppose that's true.

I once had a sponsor in an MLM program who, in his emails, sales pages and elsewhere, consistently wrote "loose" when he meant "lose." His main sales page, for example, posed the question, "Are you loosing money online?"

This man called himself "Dr." and claimed to have written several books. When I got to know him a little better, I pointed out his error, and I even explained the difference between "loose" and "lose." I could almost see him rubbing his chin when he replied to me, "I'll have to think about that one."

He never did make the correction, and I did not remain in his downline for very long. Since then I have noticed that the misuse of "loose" and "lose" is rampant across the Internet. Whenever I see it, I quickly "lose" that site and move on to the next one.

I know there are folks who would believe that I am some sort of elitist to think that any of this matters very much. I'm reminded of a schoolteacher – a schoolteacher, mind you! – I once knew who chided me for wanting to make corrections in the notes and newsletters he sent home to the parents of his students.

"As long as people know what you're talking about," he said, "that's all that counts."

In other words, if you say "loosing money," people know you mean "losing money," so don't worry about it.

I submit that it's that kind of sloppy thinking that turns out students who are sloppy thinkers. A teacher. I still shake my head at the thought of it.

And the consequences of sloppy writing go far beyond the fact that it makes you look like a fool. Effective writing can mean the difference between engaging your target audience and losing it. If you, as a network marketer, are sloppy in the presentation of your product or service, you are "losing money," I guarantee it. How can I be so sure?

For starters, I won't do business with you, at least not for very long. I know, I know, I'm only one person. But how many of your potential customers feel the same way I do?

You would be amazed how many. People do care.

And the people who do care are exactly the kind of people you want on your team. They are the successful marketers. Surround yourself with them and the chances of your own success will increase exponentially.

After all, an effective website or sales letter, one that consistently converts visitors into customers, is not necessarily one with flashing lights, blinking doodads, fancy graphics and a thousand exclamation points.

It is one that connects with its readers through effective communication, which means through the use of language, in our case the English language. Humans do not communicate by means of blinking doodads, they communicate through language. So why would you want to ignore such a vitally important tool?

Besides, why take the risk of losing any customers, even one? The profit margin in network marketing is thin enough as it is. You simply can't afford to be sloppy if you expect to be among the 2 or 3 percent of marketers who actually make a living online.

Those who sneer at the proper use of the English language will never achieve synchronized profitability, believe me.

Or maybe they will, since it's nothing but a buzz phrase anyway.

 
 
About the Author
Dave Tishendorf, whose career as a journalist, editor, playwright, novelist and, most recently, network marketer, spans more than four decades, is the owner of YourHelpingHand at http://www.yourhelpinghand.biz. He is available to help you make the most of your writing for the Internet.

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