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Cardsharping for Beginners
By Barry Hooper
Getting tired of the routine of the nine to five job and casting about for something else to do? There are lots of opportunities out there designed to facilitate a mid-life change of occupation. You will see a cornucopia of courses offered in subjects as diverse as Aromatherapy to Zoo-keeping. If none of these tickle your fancy,
how about something completely different have you ever thought of becoming a professional gambler?
Too, risky you might think. Casinos are in business because the average punter loses money and the house wins. That's called making a profit. Aren't all businesses in business to make a profit, and so why should you be any different? In order to make money from gambling, like the gaming establishments you need to ensure the odds are stacked in your favor. "Oh, yes!" "How do you do that?" The answer my friend is very simple, you cheat! Cardsharps have been around for a very long time and so you just join the ranks of that illustrious profession.
A Chinese Company has come along with all the tools you need for your new career. Firstly, it sells "Clairvoyant Contact lenses". These contacts manufactured by a top European lens maker allows you to see the invisible marks on the cards that you have put there to identify the winning cards. Set up the game, mark the cards and off you go to a sure win of the evening's jackpot.
The same Company, which by the way can be found on the Internet also markets a card scanner. This device sells for $5,8000. You discreetly place it on your person, enter the casino and as the card game commences a micro-scanner surveys the cards during the shuffle. It provides the player with an analysis of the cards dealt by suit and number. This information is truly invaluable in the control of the game, because with such insider knowledge the chance element, in let's say a game of poker, virtually disappears. According to the manufactures, you need never lose in a card game again!
Still not fully convinced, well the same Chinese Company is offering Training Courses in cheating. These take place in China, which has always been hot in the arena of gaming and gambling. There might be a downside though, because it seems that these "cheating 101" modules are offered only in the Chinese language. However, I am sure if demand grows the programs will also be offered in other languages. This is indeed an intriguing and alluring prospect which promises rich financial pickings, that could well outstrip the earnings offered from Aromatherapy or Zoo-keeping for that matter. Anyone for a hand of poker?
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